Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
