So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
