Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
