I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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