I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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