I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
