Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
