While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
