I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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