You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
