cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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