ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
