is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
