If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
