let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
