The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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