did you get engaged???
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
