you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
