Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
