How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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