You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
