she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
