Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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