Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
