i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
