oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
