My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
