Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
