She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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