Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just pee around me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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