Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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