I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize