I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
