And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
