ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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