just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I understand Curling. That high.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
my liver is dry heaving
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
