I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
