I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
