It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he puts the penis in happiness.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
