You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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