he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
