I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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