Someone shit on the floor
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
