wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
