Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
