He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize