hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
