i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
