I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
