i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
