well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
