Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dicks are not precious.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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