I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
