hotel room ftw
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize