It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
