I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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