We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dick very happy bro
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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