her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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