is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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