Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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