Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
