Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
