I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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