dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
