The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
