jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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